The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
