You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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