As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
