If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
