I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine