it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize