Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
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I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.