we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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