im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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