so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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