Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant