Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.