i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
