My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
