I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Someone came in the potted fern
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.