His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
