you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
