Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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