I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
