If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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