oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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