I showed him my bush... on skype.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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