dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
