I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
