Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We are two peas in an std pod
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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