Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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