im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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