Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
