made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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