ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
