grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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