1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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