these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
