he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
