Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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