im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
People in love make me want to vomit
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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