He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
