erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
