i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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