i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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