it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
