So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
