He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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