im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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