and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
