I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
