How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
