dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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