Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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