i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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