She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
