I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize