at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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