he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
