It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
