But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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