Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
