Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
