Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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