god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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