you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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