I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just had sex bonerless
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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