So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she told me i tasted like america
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
