My hand turned me down
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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