ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
