So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
