you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
