I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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